Saturday, January 19, 2013

Sibling Rivalry

Recently my family of 5 became a family of 9. You can bet with 4 extra kids in the house there would be some moments of sibling rivalry. Thanks to a resource table at my MOPS group I found a great book to borrow! Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too is just the book I needed at the time I read it.

The 2 marvelous mothers and authors of this book had these workshops or focus groups with other parents. This book is full of very "similar to my own" moments of rivalry between their children.

I must say that even though we had our moments before, they were pretty few and far between. I think my almost 4 and 5 yr old have the most run ins. Seems to be nonstop between the 4 siblings that moved in with us. 

It talks about teaching the kids to express their feelings with their words and not the hitting and kicking. I've done that with my kids and I seem to have fallen off the wagon since the chaos of all the kids started. I can admit that I have been very tired at times, and it is easier to just tell them to ignore the problem causer. I'm definitely going to try harder to talk to them instead of brushing off the fact that a sibling hurt their feelings for some reason or another

'Resentment between siblings is normal. After all, they are competing for resources and affection from their parents, who, until the sibling is born, are the center of their universe. The authors point out that suppressing your children's resentment only brings on more resentment. Allowing them to express it in a healthy way and empathizing with them usually reminds them that they do love this family member of theirs and do not want to hurt them - they just want their feelings to be acknowledged.' mommybeta blog

 This book also has some great advice for parents to get through those moments of sibling chaos...coping measures if you will.

I really enjoyed reading this very informative book! 

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