Tuesday, January 29, 2013

That Explains A Lot: All About Birth Order

I borrowed The New Birth Order Book by Dr. Kevin Leman from a friend of mine because I've heard how informative it is. We have quite the setup in our house these days. We have 2 first born children, 2 first born of their gender, 2 middle children, and 2 babies. Some of those 1sr born genders are the middle child as well. Now they are all living together trying to figure out where their place is. One child is not the baby anymore, which can be a struggle.  One who used to never have to be a good example for any little ones has someone younger watching them. This child needs to be a good example now.

This book did a good job describing the characteristics of people according to their birth order. Having 4 first born kiddos in my house can be very difficult at times. 2 of them are the nurturing and helpful type, but I also have 2 movers and shakers that like to be a little aggressive at times. 1 of our 1st born boy roomies has a HUGE issue about being right. He will try to argue until he's blue in the face about how he is right or what he "really" meant. He just does not accept being wrong and it's really hard for him to say he was wrong. I'm not sure if that is because of the way his parents were with him or because of birth order and living in a house with 4 siblings and now 3 extras.

This book includes information about strengths and weaknesses related to birth order and how to approach people according to their birth order. There's also a section about discipline. Parents should never treat all of their children the same. Why? Because they're not the same.

Kevin Leman is a great author and I really enjoyed this book and learned a lot!

Monday, January 28, 2013

Are You A Busy Woman?

A Busy Woman's Guide to Prayer really encouraged me and confirmed my thoughts. Our family life has changed so much since adding 4 children to it. I find myself very overwhelmed and ready to give up. I selfishly wanted my family back the way it was when there were just my kids and hubby. Then I would be praying and realizing how much God has blessed our family during this difficult trial in our lives. Even the lives of these innocent kids are being changed. 

I was one of those people who would apologize to God because I didn't get enough quiet, alone time with Him. "Sorry Lord, AGAIN! I meant to get up early to chat with you, but you saw what happened. I'll make it up to You tomorrow." WAIT! WHAT? You hear my prayers when I'm driving, walking, running errands, etc? That is a relief! I don't have to be sorry for not being able to get the quiet time I thought I had to give God for Him to REALLY listen to my prayers. God LOVES to hear the voice of His children no matter what we're doing.  

Like I said, what a relief! I was busy before, but now I am stretched very thin. There are always court dates, medical appointments, team meetings, and everything else that comes with kinship/foster care. I am literally going from sun up to sun down. Once bed time comes I pass out. I do talk to Jesus and pray throughout the whole day. I have a great prayer life! I actually pray more now with my busiest schedule ever! One thing I really try to do is start my morning with prayer. It really does change my thinking to positive thoughts for the day. Even though my prayer life may differ from some other folks I know, God hears us all the same. God has still been blessing our family and answering our prayers! " 'Prayer time isn't limited to a slot in your schedule.' "

There are some really good chapters in this book. Part two is all about overcoming the barriers of prayer. This book has been a blessing! You can find it at a good price on Amazon.com.

Sunday, January 27, 2013

For Women Only...A Review

R-E-S-P-E-C-T...That's what men want. They feel loved when they are being respected. In a survey, 74% of men said they would rather be alone and unloved rather than inadequate and disrespected (26%). If your man is angry he is most likely feeling disrespected.

For Women Only is a very informative book about men. What they need from their woman to get them through the stresses of life. We as women don't hurt them on purpose, but I can see how we can say things or do things that would make them feel disrespected or unloved.

Ladies, we need to pray for our men and for our relationships! We also need to check our hearts. Are you willing to support him the way he needs to be supported?

 This book is a pretty quick read. You could possibly get through it in a day.

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Sibling Rivalry

Recently my family of 5 became a family of 9. You can bet with 4 extra kids in the house there would be some moments of sibling rivalry. Thanks to a resource table at my MOPS group I found a great book to borrow! Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too is just the book I needed at the time I read it.

The 2 marvelous mothers and authors of this book had these workshops or focus groups with other parents. This book is full of very "similar to my own" moments of rivalry between their children.

I must say that even though we had our moments before, they were pretty few and far between. I think my almost 4 and 5 yr old have the most run ins. Seems to be nonstop between the 4 siblings that moved in with us. 

It talks about teaching the kids to express their feelings with their words and not the hitting and kicking. I've done that with my kids and I seem to have fallen off the wagon since the chaos of all the kids started. I can admit that I have been very tired at times, and it is easier to just tell them to ignore the problem causer. I'm definitely going to try harder to talk to them instead of brushing off the fact that a sibling hurt their feelings for some reason or another

'Resentment between siblings is normal. After all, they are competing for resources and affection from their parents, who, until the sibling is born, are the center of their universe. The authors point out that suppressing your children's resentment only brings on more resentment. Allowing them to express it in a healthy way and empathizing with them usually reminds them that they do love this family member of theirs and do not want to hurt them - they just want their feelings to be acknowledged.' mommybeta blog

 This book also has some great advice for parents to get through those moments of sibling chaos...coping measures if you will.

I really enjoyed reading this very informative book!